12 LITTLE KNOWN HACKS FOR MOMS TO DEAL WITH STRESS

Stress we all go through. Being a doctor and a working mom, I know that a full-time mom is equally stressed as a mom who is working with a full-time job. Work life balance is unachievable for many of us and it results in bouts of anger, unfortunately expressed on that little soul eagerly waiting for you. How do we deal with the expectations from family, ourselves and the job? I have realized, I am far from being perfect, so I have now actually left being stressed about perfection that can’t be achieved.

With changing scenario due to covid-19, its utmost I felt that as moms we ought to know how to manage our stress. We can, easily, with these simple hacks, it’s not difficult. I have inculcated them and trust me; life is easier and I have a space to breathe now. Not that events I can change with these hacks. But yes, my responses aren’t the earlier way. And these changed responses have not kept regret as my usual companion.

Here are few little know hacks that could affect the way you deal with stress -

1. Don’t Justify — You need not have the onus of everything on you and if any mistake is done don’t cover it up giving reasons that you didn’t intend to do it, but it happened due to such and such reasons. You can simply say, sorry and move on.
2. Don’t Rationalize — With growing knowledge gathering resources we quiet often feel its right to say why we chose a particular thing or preferred it by giving explanations. Why? We do have a choice and stop treating yourself as a secondary citizen. Every individual as a choice. Feel worthy of making one.
3. Don’t People Please — I have heard it somewhere that — even if you become the doormat for the people, they will crib over saying you are not a good doormat. Pleasing people is something like that. You do all possible things to keep them happy, but alas, the need never is fulfilled its ever increasing. Now that you have made them get used to this, why will they stop. Basically to keep others happy it isn’t the right thing if you are doing so at the cost of neglecting your own health, happiness and duty. It leads you no where. You might smile and feel happy that you are included needed and but its for the service you provided, not for what you are.
4. Stop Condemn / Stop Criticizing — Often we don’t like things done to us by others or made by others. More than really liking it, it’s got to do with the idea of accepting that there is variety always around and people are going to do differently because they aren’t you. So just appreciate the goodness around. Chances are you might simply feel good by doing so, and when you feel good you attract good.
5. Stop Blame — It’s easy to do, rather tempting, but in the long run it drains the very energy reserve that we have. It makes us more sour and just bitterness seeps in. I know we often feel it justified to blame because someone didn’t do this and this thing this particular thing happened. Its gone dear, what is done is gone. Now you take a stand to not let it recur or may be not depend on them. Or figure out some solution. Its very much exist, we just don’t trust it as a solution because of our preformed ideas. So change those beliefs and voila…the solution is ready.
6. Take Responsibility — take the charge to steer the wheel — your life is your design, that’s how it should be. May be one thing at a time. Be committed to do it. The confidence built up helps us take more and strengthen our confidence muscles where we feel I can now steer the wheel too. You can dear. You are shaping your kids life. Why do you even doubt about shaping your own life.
7. Belief / Perception — change it and see how you see things — everything that happens is for your ultimate good only. You may not be getting now what you what, may be that’s the reason why you are stresses. But how about thinking that you are being taken care by the power high up there and like a parent he knows what’s good for you and what’s not. You will get what you need at the right time for your growth which is for a purpose. You are one in a million given this blessing to experience stress, picturize a better tomorrow, instead of cursing your fate.
8. Faith / Gratitude — We often resist change, feeling bad over the choices we made and feel we are suffering and our fate is doomed. How about understanding that the choices we make are going to lead us forward only if we keep our eyes open with trust in the working of nature. We may not get what we want. But for our good like a parent he does give us what we need for our growth so that we learn from situations and grow. Have faith. The way is only forwards and all dots will eventually get connected.
9. Don’t Try To Control Things — you may feel that you are now having the steering wheel so all is in your hand and control, yes a few things might be showcased so, but nothing is actually. Neither the natural nor the man made things you can control, so how can you even control a human. Why stress over it by
10. Acceptance — don’t accept this situation and your miserable state. Rather accept this event. Its happened and that’s a fact. If you can change, change it, if you cant just accept happily. Happy hormones promote good thoughts which are stress relieving. Accept this as a phase, and a change that’s likely to be changed by a new event happening sooner or later which too may not be as per your expectations.
11. Focus On Self Development — many a times with the changing environment we get stressed because we fill inadequate or ill equipped and don’t realize this but instead get irritated or fight expecting things to change or curse our ill fate in such a scenario. That’s mere time wasting as its rightly said by many philosophers that the situation we are placed in is for our own growth, why not harness our skill keeping that in mind, why not try self-development instead of focusing on changing others.
12. You Did Your Best — Don’t Regret Or Have Guilt — with the time, knowledge and health or money and other resources if you did a certain thing, well that was good and best. Why, coz you did it in first place. And even if you didn’t or couldn’t for some reason, well there was a higher force guiding the events to orchestrate that way. So chill. You aren’t directing the show. Just don’t punish yourself for whatever has happened.

As we step into the world of motherhood beyond breast feeding and nappy changing there are so many things that come in our life and sweep us from the ground. Had we been trained in self preservation things would have been different. These hacks that I have personally tried, didn’t by any chance make me arrogant, but increased my self love and helped me love my son and my husband more ferociously while being guiltfree committed to my work. We all are super good moms coz we always want to develop and get better. Try these hacks and send me your feedback.